Tragedy to Purpose

Life before tragic events in 2007 was sedate and somewhat lacking a motivating purpose. Yes I loved being a Dad to Matthew (now 13!) and had a job I also thoroughly enjoyed, but it was a stagnant churn of daily repetiveness. I can probably only say that now I have had time to reflect on things.

At the time of my Wife's pregnancy in 2007, I was on the peak of my weight rebound. I actively lost weight in 2001 to be fit and healthy for other reasons than me. It was all done the wrong way, dramatic calorie reduction, low carbohydrate diet with excessive cardio workouts!! So no wonder I burnt myself out both physically and mentally after four to five months. I'd lost three stones in three months. So in 2007 I was back to old habits and then some and the weight and fitness reflected that. I was six stone heavier than I was back in 2001.

Even at a weight pushing 20 stones I wasn't really aware of what I was doing. It took the most traumatic time in my life to wake me up to what I needed to be doing. The lead up to this tragedy was hard as my Wife was hospitalised at 18 weeks with having slow but constant bleeding caused from placenta previa and I was between hospital and trying to maintain a stable household for my son. The tragedy itself though was having to experience my Wife's horrific labour at 24 weeks 5 days where she lost 13units of blood and to save her life she was having two bags at a time being squeezed into her. The outcome was also harrowing as Christian our boy was stillborn. 

It's taken some time to come to terms with this and cope with the dark times. What it has done though is make me realise how precious life is and that things really could have been worse. I mean I could be writing this as a widower bringing up my son alone. I am grateful that whoever donated those bags of blood saved my wife and realise that they would go on to save me also.

2009, my wife was pregnant again and in the early stages she was diagnosed with placenta previa. Because of this she was closely monitored but even with this the pregnancy was stressful, never knowing if the outcome would be different than losing our Christian. Week 33 came and my Wife's waters broken with bleeding. High alert, stressful and alarming! Was this going the same way? Fortunately the fantastic team at St Mary's in Manchester delivery through C section an early present of our daughter. She was taken to SCBU and helped with her ventilation for only a few hours, a little fighter. As for my wife she needed 6 units of blood (one unit was saved from her own blood loss using the Cell Save Unit). Again the need for blood to enable my wife's recovery.

The stresses and strain of the situation and a new born to contend with had by 2012 taken its toll on my health. I was severely overweight with an umbilical hernia. But it was to be the one thing I could do to pay back the lifesaving of my wife that was to kick start my new transformation and outlook on life. Give blood and inspire others to do the same. The founding of #bloodnotmoney.

Not a day goes by when I don't think about Christian and how lucky my children are to still have their mother. But I know he is with me guiding and supporting me, giving me strength when I most need it.